I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
