hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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