matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
