My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
