it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
