Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
