I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
