I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
