I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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