whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
