Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
