He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize