she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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