I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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