Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
