Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
