I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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