I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
