brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
