if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
