Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
