the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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