Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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