That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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