Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize