: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
