Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
