Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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