Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize