If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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