You're completely useless in the revolution.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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