i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
