oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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