if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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