I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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