There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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