Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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