I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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