There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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