she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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