She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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