Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
