So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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