Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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