He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
