Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
