Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize