i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
