I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
