A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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