yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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