do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
