respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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