cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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