Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
