You made me cry and you don't even care
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
