i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
