Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
