what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
